When an old socialist grouch like Bernie Sanders stoops to “sad-fishing” on the Internet, you know something is wrong. Wrong with Sanders — and quite possibly, wrong with the cause he stands for, too.
It happened just a few weeks ago – coincidentally around the same time, Sanders started slipping badly in the polls. Sen. Elizabeth Warren – AKA as “Faux-Cohontas”– and everyone’s favorite gay mayor Pete Buttigieg has been surging, but Bernie has been stuck at 15% for weeks – with his hard-core base now comprised largely of students and ex-students stuck living with their parents again.
These are people who are known to get suckered by sob stories on the Internet. But they’re used to hearing them from friends and peers, not from the man who’s promised them free tuition, a moratorium on debt and a guaranteed job in the Land of Milk and Honey
When times are this tough for Bernie, you expect him to raise a defiant fist and announce that he’s determined to jump-start his endlessly stalled “political revolution.”
Instead, on October 28th, Sanders tweeted out a message that his followers took as a desperate plea for help.
“I really want to be president but sometimes I just don’t think I’m cute enough,” Sanders said. “Most other Democratic presidents have been cute (Obama, Bill Clinton, etc.) and it’s hard not to compare myself to them sometimes.”
Sanders was just getting warmed up.
“My hair is White, I have all these wrinkles,” he continued. “It’s just tough to look in the mirror and think that people would want me as their president. They would probably be embarrassed because I look so gross.”
He sank so low that he even played yes, the Beto card. “Sometimes I think someone cute like Beto should be president instead of me. Everyone loves him. Beto is perfect,” Sanders confessed.
And then the finale: “All my constituents in Vermont probably wish I wasn’t representing them,” Sanders lamented. “Maybe I should try Botox or something.”
Was Sanders joking? Apparently not. There was no “JK” or “LOL” that followed his flurry of maudlin tweets.
Instead, he ended his tweets with the classic sad face [:o:((] followed by a single word: “Ugh.”
Were Sanders’ followers appalled at their hero had just engaged in the kind of toxic social media behavior associated with the Kardashians — or worse, Kylie Jenner?
Of course, not. Tens of thousands quickly took the bait, showering Sanders with praise – and for his looks no less.
“Bernie, it’s crazy to hear you say something like this because seriously everyone I know thinks you are so beautiful,” responded Jack Bruno, an adoring fan. “We love your White hair. You look SO great for someone who is 78,” Bruno gushed.
“Please don’t get down on yourself. America would be lucky to have a president as cute as you.”
Other replies, especially from his female fans, were even more adoring. “I wish that I was as cute as you,” Marcy Kaptur, an Ohio congresswoman, wrote.
Sanders, like an accomplished sad-fisher, accepted all the praise with an air of self-effacement.
To his first responder, he said:
“Ah, thanks Jack, I guess I just have trouble seeing it that way sometimes,”
Bernie is human — as human as a 13-year old wondering if the explosion of acne on her face will drive her prom date away and desperate for her girlfriends to shore up her sagging ego with a flurry of saccharine lies
But for Godsakes, Bernie, you’re running for the White House! You think the primary race is tough, just wait until the general election campaign, if you ever get that far, which seems about as likely as the rich agreeing to have all their wealth taxed away.
It makes you wonder whether Sanders might try the same routine if, through some miracle, he becomes president and faces opposition from the Republican Congress.
Will he cry to his base that no one likes him because they think his statist ideas are as ugly as he is?
Sanders better hope that The Donald – no stranger to bouts of public self-pity, mind you — never hears about this shameless little episode.
Because if he does, “Boo Hoo Bernie” may never hear the end of it.
It wasn’t long before millions of Bernie’s ardent followers took the bait